any resemblance to the site of art galleries existing or including two galleries editors of these articles would be that the fortuitous coincidence of causes, hazardous consequence of random contingencies.
by norbert of pastelin, public relations advisor
how to behave during an opening?
what attitude to adopt? who to greet and how? what to say and especially not to
first ask about the appropriate dress code.
in entering these chapels of art do not loudly exclaim:
identify the buffet. but do not rush on, it's too cheap. you are less exposed and you can sometimes enjoying not too sad snacks, too. in this connection, an easy choice is imperative. we cannot be at the same time, food and drink. we cannot walk arround with confectionery and a glass in each hand. the right hand should be kept absolutely free to shaking hand or if other proceeding is necessary, eg to furtively making a hand kiss. strange that the designers did not created a pocket, such revolvers, for nesting glass of the openings.
be sure to quickly identify the artist. attention: he is no longer necessarily
bearded with pendentifs. of course you would set foot in the flat if you
exclament just in front of him:
seen this a thousand times!»
god that is ugly...»
if the exhibition does not convince you talk about technique, used materials, formats, media or resolutely go out of the frame and evoke the framing, and critique the critics. it is well perceived.
in order to describe the presented works, do not say
in case of landscapes, do not say:
if they are portraits, do not say:
in case of flowers, do not say:
in case of minimal art, do not be particular.
in case of geometric art, do not say:
in case of video art, do not say:
in case of conceptual art, do not say:
and if you come with children, do not give little kids some of those little red sticky dots to place on the side of the works, as this is really still a very different game...
▲ extract the humus filambulletin & gazette n°50 / 1996
a question hangs in the air of the time and we shall try to catch it in order to put it gently, flat so to have a response.
the question is: can we really renounce of the frames?
as long as, besides their role in protecting their talents and function of development, frames demonstrate precision, knowing maintain a sense of proportion.
guided by righteousness, frames are not obtuse or acute, and often they know the rounded corners, while maintaining a useful balance.
in a house of a certain size, we can say that frames are part of the decor.
indeed, all frames are not identical and not all are identical and all are not going anywhere. there is the basic framework for subjects fairly common, there is the frame through which to load themes intermediaries, cross under dynamic sharp profile, we find sometimes the lazy part, which tends to leave the frame.
when you look above, we find the upper frame, gilt edges and loaded with diplomas, and, at the top, you might be able to see through supreme triangle (and with a big beard)...
to succeed and remain prominent, it is clear that frames must cling.
all frames without exception, must meet three general rules:
as part of life of frames is not always static. how many frames have not been shattered by insensitive handling, whereas others have lost their luster and were left on the shelf...
but we fortunately find that overall the situation is not so dark, even though some critics can not supervise them.
let’s therefore gilt the frames and let’s frame thei task, in the length and the width.
▲ extract the humus filambulletin & gazette n° 86 / 2007
as we recognize the mason to the wall, we judge the collector on his sense of attachment. painting a picture, is a big deal, but knowing how to hang it, there art begins.
here are the steps to follow. first, take the picture with four hands and present it in all parts of the house, excepted in the basement, in the attic and in the bath room. if painting is abstract and geometric, then go again around your house trying different positions and if the work is conceptual, try it, just in case, facing the wall. if the picture is the figurative style, with sea scene, do not put too close to your goldfish-tank so as not to disturb the poor fish.
we consider also as a bad taste to suspend a still-life near a refrigerator. similarly, it is inelegant to place portraits of very pretty faces, fresh and joyful side mirrors. it is also not recommended, in a classical register, to put face to face a spanish bullfight scene and a scene of roman amphitheater where lions devour good christians.
having solved the problem of unhappy collisions, let’s consider the question of color harmony. nature requires tens of thousands of different tones, we are simply forced to consider... finnaly, it is impossible to let your pink sofa living with an ocher landscape that you just found. there is also no question of hanging on the wallpaper with large orange flowers that little delicate oil of poppies after monet.
the carpet is to be feared, especially if thick and deep, that would lose any balance to the vision of dancers in tutus from degas, hoisted on the tips...
now tackle the question, oh how delicate, of t he'hanging himself. already that pictures often have no suspension system on their backs and your house administration has insisted that no nail is planted. despite these contingencies, carefully observe your wall. the wall is gritty, concrete mixers, stone, screed? and what about the thickness? is the wall crossed with electric wires, water pipes or gas pipes?
the nail my be the best way for setting your pictures. but there are many kinds of nails and you will not confuse the brad nail from the wood nail, the seed of u, the steel tip of the point man's head, and if your wall refuses, don’t hesitate to use the drill-hitter with reinforced ankle (it is essential to select the bottom color of the ankle based on the color chart)
talk again briefly the hassles that pictures are upright, its lighting and its inevitable reflections, the difficult cohabitation with your other very close works of art. the presence of a radiator, the claws of your cat mirsou, housemaid, which cleans any thing with his incomparable awkwardness and your little nephew, who loves to scribble all...
when you were said better not buy a picture!
so if you can’t do without, rather put the picture in your bank safe in a swiss bank and slide a small photographic print in your coin purse, so you can take it everywhere with you and show to all your dear collector friends!
▲ extract the humus filambulletin & gazette n° 62 / 1999
not to buy a painting
if you enter in to an art gallery, you're always subject to temptation, to help you to resist, here fifty-five reason to say no to buying a painting or engraving, sculpture, tapestry, photography, drawing...
1 it takes the dust
2 we can never hang, house administration forbidden to make holes in
3 colors do not harmonize with the flowers of the sofa
4 housemaid, undoubtedly, will make her fall
5 will make the cat's claws
6 is throwing money out the window
7 is a trick for the posh
8 we may suspend upside
9 hurts the eyes
10 my step-mother (respectively my step-father) hates this kind art and
11 museums have to deal with it
12 i hate crusts, i like soft cheeses
13 the painter is unknown... / painter is too well known... / painter is
14 colors do not fit with those of curtains and cushions of the sofa
15 i still have a picture in the living
16 i do not want to enrich galleries that fatten on the back of the artists
17 the criticism was too bad / the criticism has been too good
18 damage that is already a red dot... it's just that I would have wanted
19 sorry, madam prefers having a nice stay in the balearic
20 i still have to pay the taxes
21 the history of art is nothing else that history
22 is certainly a false / is a pale copy
23 i did not get bonuses this year
24 is too flashy
25 painting is too large / painting is too small
26 it will not please to my wife / husband
27 the walls are already filled
28 we shall never arrive for the transport
29 i can’t deduce it from the taxes
30 i have too much overhead
31 things go wrong age
32 is immature
33 it is not a very good likeness / it is a too very good likeness
34 what a horror we see a sex... a big one or tits
35 the topic is morbid
36 certainly it might be funny, but one laughed the first time and at the
37 i have so many works of this artist
38 i am not going to start collecting now more another artist
39 the frame is too ugly! / the base is too ugly!
40 and in addition, we should buy a new framework...
41 at the opening the painting wasen’t even dry
42 reminds me too much of my husband / it reminds me of my ex
43 i have no money to buy for my wife also some jewelry or fur
44 is not even signed
45 the signature is much too present
46 the smell of the wet colour makes me headache
47 we will never be able to enlighten as well as the gallery
48 painting is corny now only video is modern
49 in ten years, it will be worth nothing
50 it will attract burglars
51 it must be so expensive that I do not even look at the price
52 children will never forgive us, we promised to go to disneyland
53 for its size, impossible to put it in my bank safe
54 tommy our adorable designer, would make a terrible crisis of jealousy
55 is much too beautiful for us: we should redo the whole apartment in
extract the humus filambulletin & gazette n° 60 / 1998
last modification: 19 mars 2013 fondation@nufnuf-art copyright © 2002-2013 art www.nufnuf-art.ch